How a Book Lied to Me
I was browsing books at the store when I ran across a book that seemed interesting. It had an exciting beginning. The character was a bounty hunter and it told a gripping tale of how he was waiting for the guy. It drew me in. The story seemed exciting. From the jacket description, it said he was the hunter and now he’s the hunted. (paraphrased, of course. I don’t like giving bad reviews to books.). It sounded like an old school chase novel ala Robert Ludlum or Clive Cussler, but under the science fiction imprint! How exciting!
The first five pages were great and then it came to an utter and total screeching halt. It started talking about his previous wives, his time in the military, his dad, his kid. Everything except getting chased. Hell, they haven’t even found him after 100 pages. He’s still hiding out in an abandoned hotel. He’s squatting. It’s about him being a squatter. Hell, he’s only ventured out of the hotel once. What the hell? Where’s my chase? Then I started wondering if there will be a chase. Maybe he’ll get chased in the last ten pages. Hell, for all I knew, he never gets chased because I’m tired of him whining about his life. Who cares!
Another book said that a pivital character was sought after by the side of evil for their own bidding. Well, 150 pages into the book, not only do the evil-doers not know where she is, she’s still farting around deciding whether or not she wants to get involved. Hello? They are looking for you! You either kill yourself or hurry the hell up and get involved. Seriously. Don’t tell me about your family history and how you’ve had a hard life. There are plenty of people who have lived hard lives and are much more interesting.
I feel like I’m an impatient reader, but at the same time, I feel like I’ve been lied to. It’s like a movie trailer. You show me explosions and running, but when I watch the whole thing, the explosion is a story you were watching on the news. The running was from having to chase down a toddler who has wandered into the street. I don’t want to see a trailer for Clash of the Titans only to realize that the movie is more like Doubt. I want what you promised me. Is that so wrong?